Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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