I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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