So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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