they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she smelled like a LAN party
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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