Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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