Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
