I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize