so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
