office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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