I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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