Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
