Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
