I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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