it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
