somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I fill condoms, not promises.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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