So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
