I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
