Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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