could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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