Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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