Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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