Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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