I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
