Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
