At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
