Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
