Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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