Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
