just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize