I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You are a genius and a whore.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
