I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
