I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She told me I should be a condom model.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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