it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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