Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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