I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
