I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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