It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
