hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
When are your genitals available?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
