No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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