fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
