So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
