Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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