Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
