Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
