Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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