there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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