i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
