I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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