dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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