one two three fourrrrnication!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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