she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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