I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
