David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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