I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize