Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
