Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
