last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
