Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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