i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
