She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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