What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
