ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
