Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
