I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
