On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
