plz talk dirty to me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
