So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Randomize
