i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I look better un-naked...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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