Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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