suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
