My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
